Jimothy

New cryptid Log:

IS JIMOTHY a cryptid?

A cryptid is a creature whose existence is claimed but never proven by science. The study of these hidden animals is called cryptozoology. To be considered a cryptid, an organism must meet specific criteria. Core Criteria:

Lack of scientific evidence. No physical specimens exist. No bodies, bones, or DNA samples have been verified by mainstream scientists.
Reliance on eyewitness lore. Evidence consists of sightings, local folklore, footprints, or blurry photos.
A degree of plausibility. It must be a biological animal, not a supernatural entity like a ghost or demon.

RECOVERED FORMULA 002

JIMOTHY'S JUNK JUICE

RECOVERED BEHIND THE CANS · 2:14 A.M.

PRODUCT: Jimothy's Junk Juice
FLAVOR: Energy · sugar free · 40 servings
STATUS: SIGHTED · IN STOCK
PRICE: $34.99

The Junk Juice is an unknown substance. Try at your own Risk.

EXPEDITION DOCUMENT 014-A

CRYPTID FIELD REPORT

DESIGNATION	JIMOTHY
ALIASES	The Short King · Saint Jimothy · The Ballard Sphere
CLASSIFICATION	Class III — Sympathetic
SPECIES	Procyon lotor (spherical)
RANGE	Ballard, Seattle. Never documented leaving.
ACTIVE HOURS	Dusk to 3 a.m.
SILHOUETTE	A circle. Four normal legs. No neck.
VERTEBRAE	Fewer than planned for
THREAT TO HUMANS	0 / 10
THREAT TO SUBJECT	6 / 10 — cars, dogs, kindness
PRIOR SIGHTINGS	Confirmed. At least one year.

Continue Observation

First documented July 13, 2026, in Ballard, Seattle:

a low, round shape moving through the porch light, mistaken at first for a cat. But no he is something far better, an adorable round raccoon. Wildlife veterinarians call it short spine syndrome, vertebrae that compressed, fused, or never finished forming at all and it is so rare in raccoons that there is essentially no sample size. There is just him. Locals had been seeing him for a year before the world did:

they had known him since he was a kit, watched his mother and siblings slow down and wait for him at every fence, and then went into their own yards with saws and widened the gaps so he could keep his route. But then Jimothy was recognized one day and became famous across the internet.

Personal Note: Does he count as a cryptid? More research will have to be conducted to make a final assessment.

Cryptid status: DENIED

Legend status: UPHELD, UNANIMOUSLY

He's still out there. He's fine. Leave his snacks alone.

If you encounter Jimothy:

Stop walking. He is already aware of you and has decided you are not the interesting part of his evening.
Do not feed him. He may take all your food and possibly your soul.
Do not approach, corner, or handle. He is a wild animal and he is doing fine without you.
Do not follow him into the narrow places. They are his and they are not yours.
Let him pass. Then go home and tell everyone you saw the local legend.

SHOP VOLUME I

JIMOTHY

IS JIMOTHY a cryptid?

JIMOTHY'S JUNK JUICE

EVIDENCE LOG

Jimothy Cute Sticker

Jimothy Running Sticker

Jimothy Sleeping Sticker

Jimothy T-Shirt - Cream

Feelin' Feral Custom 32oz Legend Series Ice Shaker - Neon Pink

Feelin' Feral Custom 32oz Legend Series Ice Shaker - White

Feelin' Feral Custom 32oz Legend Series Ice Shaker - Black

Feelin' Feral Sticker

CRYPTID FIELD REPORT

Who is Jimothy?